National Emergency: Male Gym Attire
Warning graphic content, continue reading at own risk.
At The Stylist Says HQ an issue has come to our attention involving gym attire and the male population. Okay, you're not all to blame, but a lot of you have some serious explaining to do.
Last week I joined my local gym. There I was, excited for the new me, pumped that I was about to shred some serious calories from the previous night’s mega bowl of mac & cheese. All of a sudden, a man (in what I can only describe as a lycra Borat ensemble), unzipped his front and began parading around bare-chested. The worst part - he winked at me for approval!
Scoring an eyeful of flexing man meat is only the beginning of cringeworthy male activewear. After several team discussions, we've come up with a list of sports apparel no-nos. Sorry guys but it had to happen!
- Compression tights without shorts. Please guys, leave something to the imagination.
- Label lovers - are you sponsored by Puma, Reebok, Adidas, and Slazenger? Even Cristiano Ronaldo can't pull that off. It hurts our brain, stick to one!
- Muscle singlets, you've either just come back from Stereosonic or you've raided your sister's wardrobe.
- As much as we adore guys in grey, a grey gym tee is just one big sweat patch waiting to happen.
- Fluro. Just no.
- Get the right footwear! Seeing you run in canvas slip on shoes makes our feet ache.
- Finally, we don't care how much you "bench". If you're trying to impress us take a woodwork class and build one instead.
We wouldn't put forward a problem without a solution. Here's what we'd really love to see you in. Now drop and give us twenty!